Accept Me
by Superboringfanfan
Summary: [High school AU] Yuu has always been a late bloomer, this has made him rather unsociable and also a target for bullying. He thought his life couldn't get much worse but now he has to hide his sexuality from his strict parents and the entire school population. This doesn't become easy when he bumps into a very attractive stranger, now he must hide his feelings for the boy.
1. It Can't Get Any Worse, Right?

**Author's note: I originally posted this on AO3 but thought hey why not here as well? :/ I'm new to ffnet so sorry if something doesn't look right**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Seraph of the End/Owari no Seraph**

* * *

He had always been a late bloomer, he was shorter than most, he still had a few baby teeth and his voice hadn't even started to change yet, his mother kept telling him that he had plenty of time to mature, and he liked to believe this but school life didn't help him in these terms, he was already bully bait, and the fact that he had to start wearing glasses a year ago made him an even bigger target, he thought it couldn't get any worse but then that though was ripped to shreds when he discovered that he was gay.

Yuu had always known he was different in some way; he would always stay quiet when his friends would talk about girls and he simply found no interest in them, and as they got older he felt pressured into exploring the more... sexual way of life, his closest friend Akita 'forced' him to watch porn, saying that every boy their age did it, however he found himself more drawn towards the male in the videos, Yuu simply brushed this off. Then one day he heard some girls at school discussing yaoi, and he caught a glimpse of some of the manga they were gushing over, it made his heart pound.

It started piecing itself together when he would find his sight lingering on the other boy's bodies as they changed for PE, and what sealed the deal is when he caught himself personally asking the fujoshi at school to let him borrow a manga, which they were extremely okay with, and then finding himself fantasising about being the protagonist, namely the 'uke' as they say.

Luckily no one knew, not even his parents, well except for maybe Shinoa, but frankly he doesn't want anyone to know, it would make his life even more hell, especially since he was starting high school tomorrow.

* * *

The rather scrawny teenage boy was led on his bed; staring up at the ceiling, his right arm dangling off the edge. He had once again finished his favourite shounen-ai manga, he was sick, he hated that he longed for that type of relationship, especially since the story might as well be a shoujo but with two boys, you know the usual romance story where in this case the 'uke' bumped into the 'seme' dropped his books and then as they both went down to pick them up they did the whole eye contact cliché. Yuu loved it, he was jealous of it; his heart ached at how much they loved each other in the story, if he had the choice of jumping into his own shounen-ai at the price of leaving his life behind, he wouldn't even say goodbye.

Yuu sighed as he sat up, limp like some unknown force lifted him, he looked around his dim room, the spring sun clawing its way through the cracks of his blind, after observing his many anime posters he pushed up the thick rimmed glasses that threatened to fall off his nose and lugged himself onto the floor, he trudged over his clothes strewn floor and pulled himself out of his room, his parents weren't home so the house was quiet, an unknown noised waited in the emptiness to terrorize Yuu at any point, desire to make his heart skip.

He slouched downstairs in order to retrieve his phone, knowing it would be swamped with the same message, as he picked it up and switched to life he was relieved to see Shinoa hadn't been bugging him with questions about his sexuality, though the unsent messages also worried him, he pushed the thought aside and decided to enjoy the fact that the fujoshi wasn't pestering him, it was bad enough she somehow got his phone number, most likely from Akita.

He travelled back upstairs with a juice box hanging from his lips, re-entering his cave of a room caused comfort to wash over him immediately, he fell into his desk chair and powered up his computer, the screen came to life, illuminating his young face as he started updating his blog, he chewed on the straw of the juice box, mutilating the plastic unusable. The sound of cicadas resonated through the gap in his window; the breeze making the blind chink. Yuu found himself staring at his desktop wallpaper: his favourite character from the anime 'Ghouls of Tokyo', He forced himself up and walked across the room, his bed caught him as he fell, throwing the empty juice box into the bin on the way, he stared at the red numbers on his clock, the devil's machine read 7:43, in less that twelve hours he will be getting ready for school, Yuu felt his stomach turn and he grimaced, he pressed his face into the bed, his glasses pressing into him painfully, but he didn't care.

Yuu realised he hadn't been caring about a lot lately, to be honest he hadn't felt much of anything, except for the burning he got in his chest when he read his manga, a mix love and envy which created a monster that charmed his heart and then when it wormed its way inside, crushed it. The breeze nipped at his bare arms causing goose bumps to ripple up his skin, he edged himself towards the ridge of the bed and blindly felt around the floor for some sort of sweater, feeling the recognisable fabric he hoisted it up to him and forced himself up on his knees, his skin left smudges on his glasses, he slid the rims of his face and reflexively squinted as he wiped them with the sweater, after he cleaned his vision he placed them back on his nose and wrestled the sweater on.

Fully protected from the cold he resumed his business of burying his face into his bed, he felt himself become gradually tired, perhaps it was due to the fact his air was cut extremely short like this, juggling the thoughts of very little else to do he let his body succumb to the darkness of sleep.

* * *

His heart stopped as he was jerked awake by a bang, the remnants of the scare lingered in his brain as he slowly adjusted to being force jump started, literally. His vision told him it was night as he could no longer see the inside of his room, he sat himself up with a groan and pushed past his glasses as he rubbed his face, he wiped the drool from his mouth and tried to get through the nausea of being woken, the burning red of his clock formed the time 9:13, his mother must be home.

Yuu stripped himself of his sweater and replaced his drained jeans with sweats, he climbed under his covers and placed his glasses on the nightstand, he couldn't be bothered to deal with his mum right now, even if he hadn't eaten, but that didn't faze him, he would have plenty of time in the morning to fill his stomach.

Faint beeping invaded his dreamland, he subconsciously ignored the noise, mind deciding he was ignoring it, until the beeping didn't stop, it rattled his brain with the high pitched obtrusion, Yuu forced himself awake realising it was his alarm, he reached out blindly behind him knocking a few things over before stopping the noise. He buried his face into the pillow trying to savour the feeling of his bed, soaking up as much as he could he pushed himself out of the trap that was sure to send him back to sleep, he stretched when he stood up, and rested his glasses back on his face, he had an forty-five minutes till he needed to be out the house.

Yuu faced himself in the mirror: a mess of black hair and dark rings under his eyes and stood out next to his pale skin, he looked like death. He slapped his reflection, making the mirror shake, and then retrieved his toothbrush, he glared at himself while brushing, waiting till one of them broke away first, he spat down the sink then slugged back to his room, the familiar comfort sinking into his bones, he wished he could stay home, and just never leave, it's not like the world needed him anyway. After changing into his fresh uniform, he didn't even bother looking at himself again, knowing that he would never look flattering anyway; he flew down the stairs and swung into the kitchen where cereal and lunch was waiting for him. He stared at the wall while he spooned soggy whatever-he-was-eating into his mouth, anxiety filling his insides with every ticking second, the clock reached ten past and with a shaky deep breath he stood up and gathered his bag, filling it with necessities he stepped out the door.

* * *

The walk was boring; it took him 10-12 minutes at most, bonus of living close by. When he entered the busy entryway he was delightfully ignored, bonus of being a nobody, and as loneliness started to ease its way inside of him his name was being called from a running Akita, bonus of not being _too_ much of a nobody. Yuu smiled as he saw his brunet friend, Yuu had known him for about five years now, he was lucky to have him.

"Hey Yuu, how's it been" Akita piped in as they walked towards homeroom; they had been put in the same class again, much to Yuu's happiness.

"A-alright I guess" Yuu stuttered slightly, it had been a while since he'd talked with some body, Akita started to ramble on about what he did over the break.

"Oh, actually Yuu do you have the maths textbook we needed? I forgot mine and I found out I have it fourth" Yuu nodded and slung his bag off his shoulder, it balancing awkwardly on his wrist, he rummaged through it and finally pulled out the textbook, though suddenly through his shitty awareness he walked straight into someone, dropping his bag and spilling its contents.

"A-ah I'm so sorry!" Yuu stammered out a string of apologies as he bent down, the victim of his clumsiness helping him gather his things.

"Don't worry, it's partly my fault, did you get everything?" A smooth voice answered him, Yuu looked up intrigued by it and came face to face with what looked like an angel, he had thick blond hair and icy blue eyes, his face held a sweet smile, and to Yuu he looked perfect.

The handsome boy looked up to lock eyes with Yuu, and they both stood up, he was a lot taller than he looked, nearly a whole head above Yuu, he handed back the items he picked up.

"I'll see you around, um" he arched a brow and looked down at Yuu inquisitively.

"Uh Yuu, you can call me Yuu" the head of black hair looked down as he replied; a burning blush coated his cheeks.

"See you around, Yuu-chan" his voice had a playful tone to it and the added honorific made Yuu's heart flutter, he clutched his books to his chest and watched as he left.

"Hey earth to Yuu" a hand waved in front of his face, breaking the spell and Yuu handed his friend the textbook without another word.

He looked back at the direction the beautiful stranger left in; oh he was screwed, so very screwed.


	2. He Saw it Coming

**Author's** **Note: Sorry this is late for whoever wanted it, it was sitting on both my computer and AO3 since I posted the first chapter but kept forgetting to post it here, well I hope you enjoy** (=^_^=)

* * *

Only a few days had passed since Yuu's encounter with the mystery beauty, he had settled into the school routine however thoughts of the blond lingered in his mind at all times. The teenager was once-again lying on his bed reading one of his manga, though he couldn't concentrate, his mind drifted off into a world of scenarios starring himself and the very boy he, regretfully, dreamt about. Yuu let his hand drop onto is face trying to rid himself of the thoughts, cringing at the smudge he left on his glasses lens. He wanted to deny that he had a crush on the boy, he didn't even know his name or anything, yet he felt like he was the one.

Yuu's life had taken an interesting turn, before his world was dull and boring, well it still was to some extent; however when the very pretty blue eyes filled his mind the scenery would spark in colour, like a flash of hope here and there. Although Yuu deflated that hope when he forced himself back into reality and was faced with the fact that _they_ would never happen, it made his emotions turn into a rollercoaster that never stopped; one moment he would feel elated, butterflies settling their way into his stomach, then his feelings would crash and burn, butterflies dying and decaying, making him feel sick.

At least he wasn't being bullied, yet. Yuu had managed to avoid them for quite a while, but being him he knew it was only a matter of time before the teasing started again. Yuu put down the manga and lifted his arm; he traced the slightly raised skin just below his inner wrist, ten horizontal fine lines. Sometimes he wished he could leave, and not leave as in move away, leave as in disappear, but alas he was too scared to die, he wished he could just vanish along with any trace of himself, then he would spare his family and friend the pain of mourning. Even the pretty blond stranger couldn't save him from that wish.

* * *

Stepping cautiously through the crowded hallway, Yuu made sure to survey his surroundings, not only did he not want to bump into another person, he was also on the lookout for Shinoa: a very sarcastic fujoshi that forced her way into his life. He had gotten a text from her saying that she was looking for him, it could only mean trouble so Yuu was trying his best not to cross paths with her.

Sighing once he reached his locker, he unlocked it and swung the door open, he deposited the textbook he no longer needed for today next to his others, but as he withdrew his hand the metal door slammed closed with a bang, making Yuu yelp in surprise, he almost lost his fingers.

"Aw did I scare you" a voice mockingly cooed beside him, shivers travelled down his spine, he noticed people had retreated behind him leaving a wide space. Yuu gulped and didn't reply, he knew this was coming but even so he was still scared, he froze in his place, staring at his now closed locker.

"You're still so cute and short, are you really 15?" the owner of the voice ruffled Yuu's hair, his big hand covering the entirety of the top of his skull, Yuu stood still and let it happen, lucky the abuse was light.

"Hey answer me would you!" the hand closed, taking a handful of hair with it and Yuu held in a cry, a small high pitched yelp escaped his clenched teeth as he reflexively flung his hands up to his hair, gripping uselessly at the other's wrist. Tears formed due to the sting of his scalp, and he squeaked a reply.

"Y-yes!" the answer was short but hopefully enough, Yuu's comparably smaller fists clawed at the one wrapped around his hair, trying to ease the grip, his vision was still frozen forward, the grey of his locker was the only thing he saw, he had no idea who was doing this to him but even if he did it wouldn't matter, he heard the bully let out a gruff laugh and tighten his grip, Yuu squeaked again.

"Hey, leave him alone would you" A feminine voice lit a spark of relief in Yuu, even if he recognised the voice to belong to Shinoa, he was grateful for her help.

"Huh? Why should I?" the oppressor asked, irritation noticeable in his voice, Yuu was still helplessly grabbing at the hand, his movements automatic due to the pain in his skull.

"I really don't think you want me getting Principal Guren, do you?" Yuu could feel the confidence of her words, from the corner of his eye he could see her standing there: her arms were crossed and she was staring up at the bully, he face calm and teasing. The dull hum of pain in his scalp calmed before he was released, he heard his aggressor growl before storming away, Yuu rubbed at his head, he was kind of shocked that she made him stop so easily, but he guessed that because they _were_ still students a trip to Guren and a call home really wasn't the best option.

"Thanks" Yuu mumbled, still rubbing at his scalp, he turned to Shinoa who had a smug grin plastered to her face, Yuu grimaced.

"Now you owe me, I won't ask for it now, but I will someday" she grinned at him, Yuu knew he was in for hell, but he was grateful to her so he would let it slide.

* * *

"I heard you walked into Mikaela" Shinoa randomly spoke, they were walking to lunch at the time, Yuu was confused at first, then a blush rose on his face once he understood what she meant, so that was his name.

Shinoa peered towards the slightly boy, amused by the redness of his cheeks; she didn't feel like teasing him today, he'd been through enough already.

"All I know is that he's in Sensei Yukimi's homeroom" she added, a rare sense of kindness had found its way into her heart today. Yuu didn't know what he was meant to do with this information, but he nodded in thanks regardless, at least he now had a name, so he could stop referring to this _Mikaela_ as a stranger. Mikaela, it was angelic, Yuu thought it suited the blond.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, Yuu occasionally rubbed at his scalp, the dull sting still lingering. Shinoa waved goodbye and went to join some other girls once they got into the courtyard, Yuu waved at her as she left, making sure she joined her friends safely. Next he journeyed towards Akita's and his usual spot, as expected his brunet friend was sat under the shade of 'their' tree. Akita was seen as one of the schools 'ikemen', Yuu had to agree with that since he _was_ quite attractive; his auburn hair was short at the back but he had long bangs that framed his face at the side, dark brown eyes that you could lose yourself in, he was tall, funny, and loyal and a great friend. That's all Yuu could see him as though, a friend, but even still he was glad that they could even be that.

Lunch was like normal, full of chat and friendly laughs, however Yuu had to excuse himself early, his teacher for next lesson asked him to collect some books from the library. Yuu's mind was on _Mikaela_ the entire trip to the library, he really wanted to see him. Yuu mentally slapped himself at how obsessed he seemed. As he stepped into the library the calmness of the room was the first thing he noticed, it was a nice change of pace from the normally busy school hallways, as he searched for the books he needed he noticed a man stacking the shelves, he was most likely the librarian, Yuu was in awe, he looked like a character from a shounen-ai: he was tall, and had silvery medium length hair, bangs framed his face, glasses were perched upon his gentle face and an elegant aura surrounded him. Yuu forced himself to break his gaze on the beautiful man and continued searching, his sight wandering towards the librarian every now and then, Yuu jumped when he noticed the man looking back at him, thankful when he heard the bell ring, he took the books he gathered and scurried to class.

* * *

Returning back to his dark room, the recognisable peace settled back into the boy as he kicked off his shoes and waded towards his bed, he let himself fall knowing the softness of the duvet would catch him once-again, the plumpness of his mattress caressed his achy body, fatigue collected throughout the day coating his muscles. Breathing in the familiar scent of laundry detergent, his mother must have changed the sheets; he hated working her with such trivial tasks, especially when she knew he would do them.

He pushed himself back up and stripped himself of his uniform, replacing the formal clothes with a casual shirt and knee-length shorts. Blue eyes traced the room, his desk was strewn with pens and paper, his creamy walls were bare and his laptop rested underneath the foot of his bed. Curtains swayed softly under the manipulation of the slight breeze entering through his open window, he combed his fingers through his thick blond hair as he sighed, the event that happened three days ago was quite the talk in his homeroom for some reason, everyone would joke about how the boy that bumped into him was blushing like crazy, saying he probably thought he was a girl.

Mika couldn't remember the boy's name, which was disappointing since the short boy seemed interesting, he would have liked to of befriended him, hopefully he would have given his dull life some sort of colour, maybe he'd ask around to see if anyone knew the black-haired boy.


	3. Weekends are Fun

**Author's Note: After this chapter there will be only one more till this is caught up with the one on AO3 then i can update on both websites at the same time, whew i kept forgetting i'm posting it here as well, also expect quite long waits for new chapters because i'm useless and school has been shoving work down my throat**

* * *

Well that was disappointing, Mika's search didn't end the way he had wished, it turns out no one knew the black-haired boy.

The weekend came quickly and Mika hadn't made any plans, instead he decided to indulge in himself and spend the two days inside, he was staring out his open window, elbows digging into the window sill as his head rested on his palm. The breeze felt nice and his hair swayed with it, the sounds of the birds provided serenity in the air, however the peace was disturbed by the sound of the front door. Mika pushed himself off the sill and trod across his room and out the door, skipping down the stairs he next turned and greeted his mother from her daily outing.

"Hey" Mika voiced, it was a simple hello. His mother smiled at him in return, her brown hair tied back into a simple pony tail. The woman wasn't Mika's biological mother, his birth parents didn't want him and promptly threw him out of their moving car, and he was then moved into an orphanage where he was luckily adopted by the lady in front of him. It was just the two of them, he didn't have a 'dad' or any sort of siblings, it was probably better like that though, Mika's mother already worked hard enough.

"How's school going?" her gentle voice asked, Mika smiled at the cliché question.

"Fine I guess, I mean school _is_ school" She chuckled at his answer and then begun packing away groceries, Mika soon joined in. He had to admit she was a good mother; she looked after him, making sure he was fed and clothed, with the occasional outing or movie night; to be honest he wouldn't ask for it any other way.

* * *

Yuu was sat on his worn carpet, a forgotten worksheet in his hand and an Akita led a foot opposite him, they were supposed to be doing homework but his brunet friend had gotten distracted a few minutes in and was now flipping through some sort of magazine while humming a tuneless tune. The visit was sudden, giving Yuu no warning before his friend showed up at his door and intruded his time alone, he gave Yuu the excuse that he wanted to do homework together, Yuu pretended to believe it but he knew they'd end up where they were now.

"I'm bored" the flat statement roused Yuu away from staring at the same patch on his ceiling, he looked down towards his friend who was now staring at him instead of the glossy magazine, Yuu replied with a small 'hmm' not really knowing what it meant.

"You'd look good in a skirt" Akita said that like he was discussing the weather, the announcement startled Yuu; a flustered expression grazing his face. He lightly kicked his friend in the shoulder making the other boy laugh and then brush off his leg.

"I mean it, I mean your face is still so cute" he mocked innocently, Yuu kicked him again, with more force this time making the victim let out an 'ow', Yuu pouted, blowing out his cheeks slightly.

"Can we not talk about my so called cute features" Yuu's serious tone was sabotaged by the small laugh he let escape, ruining his facade. Akita simply stuck his tongue out at Yuu before resting his head back on his palms, a peaceful silence settled around them again, the occasional flipping of pages interrupting the quiet.

"You really are kind of cute though" Akita admitted sincerely, Yuu blushed slightly at the compliment, adjusting his glasses in an attempt to hide his embarrassment.

"Shut up" he spoke back, little to no bite in his words.

* * *

Sunday was interfered with by another visit of Akita, for some reason Yuu couldn't escape him, however today really did consist of homework solving.

"Look, if you multiply these two together then divide by this one you'll get the answer" Yuu pointed towards the numbers again, feeling like he was doing his friend's homework as well as his own, Akita groaned then rolled over onto his back.

"Maths is hard!" he whined, outstretching his limbs, Yuu sighed in defeat and put down his pencil, stretching his back, he rubbed at his eyes making his glasses slip down his nose, proceeding to then push them back up.

"I'm going to get a drink, want anything?" Yuu asked while standing, Akita simply nodded, he was still pouting, Yuu knew he wasn't going to get an answer of what he wanted, so instead of pushing the question any further he slipped out his bedroom and slinked down the stairs.

While rummaging the kitchen for glasses and juice he got the sudden urge to check his phone that was resting on the small table, walking up to it and bringing the screen to life he was faced with the small notification saying he had a text. Yuu grimaced while opening it, seeing that it was from Shinoa, that girl was another person he couldn't escape, however the actual message stirred some curiosity, it simply stated: _There's something I need to tell you._

Yuu replied by asking her what it was before setting the phone back down again, while waiting for her to text back he continued preparing the refreshments, various scenarios regarding the reply he was going to get flitted through his head, the more that appeared the more he worried, the deep feeling of anxiety bubbled in his stomach, twisting it in a way that made him nauseous, however his panic was broken by the distant voice calling out for him.

"Hey Yuu, hurry it up!" The voice of his friend snapped him out of his alarm, and he grabbed the now full glasses and scurried back upstairs to his bedroom, he would check his phone again later.

"What took you so long?" the brunet complained lightly, taking one of the glasses and draining half of it in one go, Yuu muttered some sort of reply before setting down his own glass on the nightstand. He placed himself back on the floor, the slight nervousness of what Shinoa needed to tell him still gnawed at him; he uselessly adjusted the frames resting on his face, the action becoming a habit. However he tried to push the thoughts back and focus his interest towards Akita instead, the boy was rambling on about something and Yuu hadn't caught a word of it.

"Are you okay?" Akita suddenly queried, speech softening. Yuu was once-again snapped out of his thoughts by the concern in his friend's voice; the brunet had honed in on Yuu and was examining him with a worried expression. It was rare for Akita to show this side of himself, he was normally extremely enthusiastic and almost childish, but when he wanted to he could be very considerate of others' feelings.

Yuu gasped slightly when he noticed Akita had moved forward, their faces where no more than a few inches apart, Yuu was forced to make eye contact with him, the dark brown eyes of his friend swam with affection and he couldn't help but concentrate on them.

"You know you can tell me things, right?" Akita whispered gently, not breaking the closeness, seriousness radiated off of him and Yuu nodded lightly, too stunned to speak. The atmosphere lightened as the brunet pulled away, eye contact continuing until the last second, when it finally broke Yuu released a breath, feeling as if bindings had been released around his body as he relaxed and slumped forward, he had no idea Akita was capable of such things.

* * *

Finally managing to get rid of his friend, the tension in his muscles dissipated as he was once-again wrapped in the silence of an empty house, he trudged back up the stairs and began tidying his room, after packing away his school work he grabbed the two empty glasses and descended the stairs for what felt like the tenth time today. Placing the two cups in the sink, his phone caught his eye and his heart skipped a beat, he forgot all about Shinoa, he cautiously approached his phone, as if it was going to jump at him.

Switching it to life, his heart beat rose at the message notification on the screen, he could feel the blood pumping in his ears as he opened it, his breath hitched at what it read:

 _Mikaela was looking for you_

Yuu's heart was in his throat.


	4. The Worst and Best Day

**Auhtor's Note: Okay last pre-written chapter, after this don't expect me to post them fast since i take a LONG time to write, but don't worry i'm halfway through chap 5 already so it shouldn't be that long, but anyway, favourite, review and whatever if you want**

* * *

Storming his way to school Yuu had one thing on his mind: he _needed_ to find Shinoa. After that text she sent yesterday Yuu has been rolling around in a mix of pure delight and worry, he basically spent the entire Sunday evening either smiling like an idiot and giggling into pillows or pacing his bedroom telling himself it was probably a prank. All he was focused on was finding Shinoa and making her talk, god forbid she was struck with a sudden illness or decided to bunk.

After entering the stuffy halls of the school he began his quest to find the fujoshi group that hang around outside the girls' bathroom, making his way in the direction of the facility he spotted the usual group when he turned the corner, his insides jolted once he saw the familiar head of purple hair. Rushing towards the group of overly excited high school girls, Yuu grabbed Shinoa's upper arm and pulled her in the opposite direction, he heard her yelp slightly out of surprise and the group's mixed giggling turn into sounds of confusion, he continued to drag her behind him, winding them through the maze of bodies filling the hallways.

Stopping once he reached an emptier space, he let her go and spun around to face her, she looked at him with a smug expression poorly hidden under faked confusion, Yuu felt frustration begin to drip its way into his veins.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner" he asked coldly, his voice as solid as steel, she tipped her head to the side and rested her index finger on her chin.

"I'm sorry what are you talking about" she blinked innocently; the dripping broke into a steady stream. Yuu grit his teeth.

"The text, the fact that _apparently_ Mikaela was looking for me?" he spoke through his teeth, the strange uncomfortable pressure coating his gums.

"Oh right! Well you see he approached me on Friday and asked if I knew a boy with black hair and glasses, I said I didn't and well I had no idea he was talking about you until afterwards" she gleamed at the statement, the sickly sweetness of her voice tipped Yuu over the edge and a waterfall of anger rushed through his body.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? That meant everything to me, and now you've ruined my entire life!" he shouted back, small hints of pain shot through his immature voice as it rose in pitch.

"Well I did send you that message Friday night, it's not my fault you didn't read it till yesterday" she was acting too calm for Yuu's hate fuelled taste, his nails bit into the skin of his palm as he clenched his fists, she stood with her hands behind her back while swaying slightly, Yuu went to open his mouth but was shut down by what she said next.

"And anyway what do you mean I've ruined your life? Why does this Mikaela mean anything to you at all? You're acting like a silly crush has taken over you" she giggled afterwards, the noise full of scorn, her voice had gone back to her usual mocking tone and her face adorned her signature sly smile. Yuu was brought back to earth, hate-filled bigoted earth.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter" Yuu's voice was barely audible, he hated how weak he sounded, but his body felt like all of his strength was sucked out of him, his head fell to stare at his shoes. The action caused him to not see the way Shinoa's expression dropped, she was bewildered at how easily he deflated.

"Listen, Yuu I can find him again and tell him I know you" Shinoa tried to soften her voice enough to somehow revive her friend, as much as she hated being kind, she hated hurting people even more. Yuu shook his head in response and turned to leave, she watched as he re-turned the corner, head still bowed. Spinning on her toes she bounded her way down the corridors, even if her new-found kindest did made her cringe, she had to make this right.

* * *

Yuu trudged his way to his homeroom, his vision blurring momentarily before small tears cascaded on his lenses. Ignoring the stares from random students he let himself wallow in his own self-pity. He felt like nothing, just a useless being of flesh and bone, he wasn't strong or smart or attractive, he was a just lowly waste of space. The ringing of the first bell blurred into background noise.

He didn't notice his feet had taken him the wrong until he felt cool wind and then it registered that he had made his way back outside the front entrance. Yuu lifted his head again and took a deep breath of the crisp air, left over tears rolled down his cheeks and he chuckled weakly at how stupid he was, he let himself fall into the dark abyss for some ridiculous reason again, he was such a terrible excuse for a human.

"There you are, Sensei is going to be pissed if you don't come to homeroom" Yuu heard the voice of his only friend behind him, he must have been sent to find him, Yuu didn't turn around to face him, his body felt too tired to move.

"Hey are you okay?" Akita was suddenly next to him, he was tall, extremely so, even taller than _Mikaela_. Yuu grimaced, the once-pretty name now made him feel sick.

"No, I'm really not Akita, I'm not anything at all" He didn't even notice himself speaking. His body was still rigid, he saw Akita flinch slightly in the corner of his eye, regret filled his chest, and his blood ran cold, that is until warmth encased him.

"You're my friend" Yuu could feel the strong voice resonating through his skull, the words struck Yuu in a strange way, the sense of worth filled his bones and he melted into the physique of the brunet, resting his forehead on Akita's chest as he enjoyed the safe feeling of the taller boy's arms wrapped around his torso. Yuu smiled slightly as he allowed fresh bittersweet tears to coat his dampened cheeks.

* * *

Excited chatter refilled the school grounds just moments after the dismissal bell, the crowds slowly dissipating as groups of friends made their way home, young lovers shared the last kiss of the day as they broke apart to meet again tomorrow, various students either hanging their heads high or low at their newest test scores, the school soon only consisted of a handful of pupils and a certain short, black-haired boy was one of them.

Yuu sighed as he slammed his locker, the weight of the day hung heavy on his shoulders making him feel claustrophobic, his gut twisted as the haunting memory of this morning came back, he made such a laughing stock of himself, he was lucky that Akita was the only one that saw it.

Stepping once-again into the afternoon air, Yuu welcomed the cool breeze. He was already dreading school tomorrow, his life somehow has gotten darker the past week, the bullies had started their 'secret phase' as Yuu liked to call it, they would torment him in non-physical ways, for example they somehow got into his locker and strewed all of his books around the school, causing him to use his entire lunch break looking for them.

Making his way across the courtyard the distant sound of footsteps chased away the silence, however Yuu noticed the footsteps getting closer at a fast pace, he tried not to think about it, brushing it off as a random student running their way home. That is until a certain voice called out his name.

"Hey are you Yuichiro!?" The voice caused Yuu to stop in his tracks, disbelief tumbling its way down his spine. He heard the steps stop and the slight heaviness of the person's breath due to slight fatigue; Yuu turned slowly, eyes wide his felt like it was brain malfunctioning as crazed thoughts flew around his mind.

The picture that Yuu turned to see made him question reality, was he really here at school, right now? Or was he dreaming? He got the sudden urge to clean his glasses, wanting to make sure the frames weren't distorting his vision. Stood in front of him was the tall figure of the boy that owned the icy blue eyes and tousled blond hair, stood in front of him was the boy Yuu never thought he'd see again.

"You're Yuichiro right?" the boy asked again, smiling sweetly. Yuu simply nodded, too much in awe to speak.

"It's nice to meet you, I'm Mikaela"


	5. Literally Only the Worst Day

**A/N: TRIGGER WARNING: implied self harm, read with caution if this would upset you, you have been warned.**

 **yeahhhh chapter 5 is finally done, i'm a suuuper slow writer so don't really expect the next chapter for quite a while especially since school has been a massive pain and time consumer, this one's a little bit longer since the others were lacking in the word count area for me, so please enjoy~~**

* * *

The silence was uncomfortable; it made a light flush of sweat trace the back of his neck. Surely this is what he wanted? At this very moment in time he was walking beside the person he had been gushing over, so why couldn't he strike up a conversation? Why did the awkwardness make his stomach churn? To be honest Yuu felt sick and he wanted to arrive home as quickly as possible just so this heavy atmosphere would finally leave him alone.

He peered up above his glasses, admiring the blond 'acquaintance' in all his blurry glory, his throat felt dry. Yuu averted his eyes when Mikaela sensed his gaze and followed it until they made eye contact for a split second, a new flush of embarrassment painted over the top of his original one. He was way too calm, Yuu thought, he himself was shaking in his boots, a mix of embarrassment and longing creating a bitter concoction in his stomach, whereas the blond was walking casually along, looking as if he was enjoying a nice summers day.

Mika was trying his best to suppress a chuckle, the very small boy beside him was stiff and rigid, and was walking as if he was some sort of automaton, just a machine trying to blend in with everyday human life. He himself however felt comfortable around him, the younger boy's aura made him feel like he was old friend, even if it was being contaminated with awkwardness. Mika started to recognise the trees, signalling that he would be arriving home shortly; he supposed he should announce this.

"Uh, my house is literally right 'round the corner" he added a sheepish half-smile. Yuu jumped slightly at the smooth voice and continued walking even though his companion stopped; he noticed this and then turned on his heels, face somehow burning 100 degrees hotter. He watched the tall blond chuckle slightly and a sudden feeling of wanting to disappear clouded his mind.

"Um-uh, s-see you around, I g-guess?" Yuu stumbled on his words as if his tongue just tripped down a flight of stairs, his voice came out quiet and his voice squeaked slightly at the end. He was pretty sure he was steaming at this point, he rung his hands, trying to wipe off the nerves.

"Unless you want to come in?" Oh how he was jealous of that confident voi- wait what? Yuu had to take a double take on the word's that just came from the blond, he let them swim around his head for a bit before it clicked at what he said, he wanted him to go to his house? This boy, the boy he had been crushing on for a week just invited him to his _house_!? Yuu's mind went into overdrive trying to process sentences and how to answer.

"Well, you see, I don't want to worry my parents" he lied through his teeth, the words somehow came out rather nicely, although they did fly out against his will, his body was really against him today. Yuu bounced slightly and turned his head to stare at the ground, right now the entire world would be able see he was embarrassed, his vision flitted towards Mikaela every few milliseconds, gauging his reaction.

"Oh that's fine, then I guess I'll see you tomorrow" Mika waved it off and then stuck out his hand, Yuu's brain took awhile to configure that he was engaging a handshake, jolting slightly at his slow response, he stepped forward to reach for the other's hand, however Yuu felt his back foot come to a halt and the strange feeling of his stomach lifting, as if on a tiny rollercoaster. He could only wait for the inevitable: the doom that was a face-full of concrete.

Yuu felt a slight twinge run up the bridge of his nose from the awkward push of his glasses when he came in contact with what was not hard, cold ground but instead something that was solid, but also warm, and smelt _amazingly_ good, a sort of sweet spice that he welcomed wholeheartedly. Yuu breathed deeply, letting the scent warm his senses, his cheeks dusting a content pink. Yuu suddenly opened his eyes, finally realising what he had been almost nuzzling into like a hungry cat, his face had been buried into the blond's chest, the tall boy's arms supporting his shoulders. He peeked through his eyelashes to see Mikaela staring down at him, a neutral but confused look on his face. Yuu shot back, face once-again burning, he really screwed up this time.

"Um- uh, I-I should go" he stammered before turning and started sprinting home, leaving a dumbstruck Mikaela behind him.

* * *

Yuu felt hot tears sting his eyes as he slammed the front door behind him; lucky for the fact his parents were only home 5 percent of the time. He dropped his bag and climbed the stairs, feet heavy on the wooden steps, he walked into his room and threw the door closed, leaning on the wood while pulling at his hair before collapsing against it as frustrated sobs racked his body, the forceful cries robbing his lungs of air, turning him into a blubbering, gasping mess.

He laid himself on the floor, crying into the worn carpet, tears wetting the rough wool. He stayed there, his wails shaking his body while he mourned his pride. The strong howls cutting off his air, making him hiccup and shriek silently. His core rocked with every release, soon making him gag into the carpet, forcing him to stop so he wasn't sick. The pained sounds soon died down, only slight snivels and whimpers marking their past presence.

Yuu laid there for god-knows how long, letting continuous tears spill from his eyes with no effort, the wetness had dried on the lenses of his glasses, blurring or cutting off parts of his vision, he was nothing more than an empty husk.

His eyes caught how the slight rise of his school blazer revealed three pinkish lines of skin that marked across his wrist; his other hand travelled towards them and stroked the risen skin. When he pushed hard he could still feel a slight tingle of pain, it felt... _nice_.

* * *

Yuu petted his freshly bandaged wrist, why did he always regret it right afterwards? The heavy sting of the sterile cotton on his cut skin made his eyes water, he needed to clean up the bathroom, luckily he did it over the sink meaning he would only have to clean one place. Firstly he chucked on one of his many sweaters, the one he had chosen was sporting an anime character, though he couldn't put his finger on their name at this moment in time. Pulling the sleeves up a few inches under his elbow meant it would be easier to scrub, keep his sleeves dry and it would hide the bandage, Yuu sighed as he got to work.

After ridding the bathroom of any bloody trace he wandered back into his room, shutting the door behind him he felt the deep feeling of regret settling into his gut. What if his parents found out? What if Akita saw again? Yuu felt as if he had betrayed them, Akita mostly, since his brunet friend was the only person who knew Yuu has self-harmed before. He took a deep breath and turned his head to see himself in the reflection of his full-body mirror, a flash of apology washed over his face until he scowled at himself.

"What are you looking at?" he hissed at his doppelgӓnger, before sharply turning away and striding towards his drawers. The air felt surprisingly hot tonight so Yuu stripped himself of his trousers and threw on a pair of awfully short shorts, he didn't care though, even if they did end mid-thigh they made his slender, pale and weirdly almost hairless legs look oddly attractive, if he did say so himself.

He threw himself head-first onto his bed, unfortunately landing on his right arm, the one with his fresh wounds, he hissed once the pain registered and pulled the arm from underneath him, the sting numbing back to a shallow throb. He once-again sighed into his duvet and once-again his glasses were pressing into him awkwardly, and not surprisingly he once-again didn't care.

Something in the back of his mind must have shaken itself awake since an overwhelming sense of thirst coated his mouth and throat, it just registered that he hadn't eaten or drunk anything since lunch, which judging by the clock, was nearly 5 hours ago. The half of his mind rooting for him to _at least_ get a glass of water managed to win the vote and to fulfil the winner's wish he rolled himself back onto his feet, grumbling to himself the entire journey to the kitchen. Once reaching the small kitchenette he very slowly completed the menial task of getting a glass and filling it with tap water, his face holding the same nonchalant expression the entire time.

After downing half of the glass' contents, Yuu's quiet time was interrupted with a knock at the door, sighing and carrying both his bored expression and glass of water with him he opened the door. He really should have known, stood in front of him was perhaps the only friend he had, the one and only Akita.

"Jeez what's with that resting bitch face? You should really sort tha-" Yuu looked puzzled as to why his friend had ended his sentence so abruptly, that is until he followed his gaze, all the way down to his waist.

Yuu stared at his _very_ bare legs for a few moments until it struck him and his face turned _very_ scarlet _very_ fast. The two stood there for a while, both sporting some sort of blush, both staring at Yuu's legs like they were the most glorious things either one of them had seen.

"U-um" Yuu tried to speak, glass still in hand, eyes still frozen on his own naked legs. His face was probably steaming once-again, the blood rush to his head making his thoughts spin and twirl in some sort of confusing dance.

"U-um" a deeper voice mimicked, Akita's own head was swimming, what was he looking at? For some reason his brain thought it looked like someone had plastered his best friend's face on an incredibly cute girl's body. Wait what!? Did he really just think a guy's body was cute? He must be ill or something, r-right? Akita swallowed hard, still trying to wrap his head around what he was seeing; there was no solution to this moment, so alas he must flee.

"I better get going, bye now!" the sentence rushed out and he quickly turned himself on his heels and sped out of Yuu's front garden and down the street, he _really_ needed to do some self-evaluation right now.

Yuu however had no idea what had just happened, he was still recovering from the initial shock of someone seeing him so... _exposed_. He shivered in self-disgust and closed the front door, great now things weren't only awkward between him and the boy he was crushing on but also his only friend. He sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that night and rested his head against the closed door. His life really took a drastic turn in the last 2 hours.

* * *

 **A/N: THIS WON'T BEE YUUxOC DONT WORRY, though i might add a bit of a love triangle ehehehehehehehehe...**

 **this feels selfish but please review aswell!~~~**


	6. Questions and Relationships

**A/N: sorry for not posting this for so long i keep forgetting i'm on here as well as AO3, but i hope you enjoy and please review and stuff because it helps me a lot in the motivation area, thank you :)**

* * *

The closer he got to his destination the more his stomach began to twist in anticipation; the only thing on Yuu's mind was the... incident yesterday, the fact that his only friend saw him that _exposed_ still mortified the boy, a whirlwind of thoughts spun around his head however one kept coming back: _what if he doesn't like me anymore?_

Yuu took a deep breath to try and settle his malfunctioning nerves before turning into the school gates, he stared at the floor as he walked hoping, _praying_ that Akita wasn't waiting for him so he could avoid the boy for a longer period. With another breath he looked up to only have his hopes crushed when he saw the tall brunet leaning against the wall, Yuu's breathing turned shaky as he continued towards his destination, readying himself for a lot of awkward silence.

"Ah, hey Yuu!" Akita called for his friend once he noticed the small boy travelling towards him, he noticed a wry smile coat the boy's face but he pretended not to notice, he didn't want to upset his friend any further.

Yuu waved when he heard his name, he couldn't trust his voice, not yet. He fidgeted once he stopped; not making eye contact with the brunet, he could hear his heart thrumming and hoped it wasn't audible to anyone else.

"So you want to get goin'?" Yuu heard the boy's seemingly normal voice ring out, and his mind was a mess for a few more seconds, why wasn't he asking questions? Was he not embarrassed? Did he forget about it already? Yuu tried to think of an explanation as he nodded and then proceeded to follow his friend to homeroom, but sadly he couldn't stick to one.

The way Akita acted so normally continued to bug Yuu throughout the day, giving him a weird taste in his mouth and a sickly feeling in his stomach, Yuu did not want to eat his lunch today.

The black-haired boy continued to poke at his food while he waited for his friend; he probably got in trouble again especially since he did just have maths with 'Professor' Guren, Yuu felt a pang of pity for his friend, Guren was not someone he would want to be taught by, the man was awfully strict but also rather unprofessional, he was the school's 'Principal' but works as a teacher as well, one gutsy student once asked him why and he just simply stated that he was bored. Yuu was glad he didn't have any classes with him.

The small boy gave up on his lunch and poked at the ground with his shoe, the silence was awfully lonely, and it made him feel vulnerable, Yuu rubbed at his arm as a twitch of anxiety showed itself in his chest. The boy looked around desperately hoping to see that tall frame of his friend, but the act was hopeless and Yuu started to curl in on himself, he stared at his shoes again.

"Hey there" at the voice Yuu felt relief rush through his veins and he whipped his head around only to have that relief stripped away again. Instead of Akita greeting him it was Mikaela instead; Yuu felt his heart skip in both excitement and dread, the memory of falling into the blond pushed past every other thought and made his stomach twist in humiliated agony. Yuu realised he had been staring without answering for a long time now and quickly nodded in awareness before flinging his sight back downwards.

"How are you today?" Mikaela spoke again, settling his stance to a more relaxed position. Yuu could feel his eyes on him but he couldn't find his voice, new-found embarrassment and frustration coated his cheeks a fresh pink, he continued to stare at the ground. Mikaela looked at the small boy expectantly, however sensing the discomfort radiating off of him he decided to let it slide, although he thought the uncertainty the short boy had for him was rather cute in a strange way.

"I was thinking that we could ha-" Mikaela didn't get to finish his words as a boy suddenly ran over to them; he was slightly out of breath and started bumbling a string of apologies.

"I'm so sorry Yuu, Guren kept me afterwards because I apparently disturbed the class" sarcasm dripped off the brunets words, and at that familiar sarcasm Yuu finally felt the true feeling of relief, as he turned to face the person he was waiting for, Yuu went to say something before he noticed the two tall boys staring at each other inquisitively.

"Uhh, who are you?" Akita asked first, looking the blond up and down, Yuu saw the brunet glance at him for a split second before his attention went back on to Mikaela.

"I'm Mika, I'm Yuichiro's friend" the black-haired boy gushed over the nickname the blond gave himself before he felt a strange tension coming from the two of them, he saw Akita scowl slightly before he opened his mouth to say something, however he was cut off due to the ringing of the bell. Yuu inwardly sighed, thankful for the excuse, he mumbled a quick farewell to both of the other boys and then rushed to class.

* * *

Yuu exhaled deeply as he started his walk home, he was starting to become so exhausted nowadays, especially since his life has had more drama in the last few weeks than it's had in years. He was kind of happy he was alone right now; he could finally start to clear his head.

"Hey Yuu, wait up!" at the voice Yuu groaned, well that was short lived. He turned to face Akita running after him, Yuu smiled crookedly, why couldn't he just be alone right now?

"Hey" Yuu replied nonchalantly, he started to walk again knowing that his tall friend would catch up fairly quickly. They walked in comfortable silence for a while, on second thought Yuu decided this was better than walking alone, he did enjoy the company.

"So Yuu, who was that Mika guy anyway?" Yuu looked over his frames towards his friend; even though his vision was blurry he could tell the brunet had his usual joyful expression.

"Just someone I met a few days ago" the black-haired boy managed to speak rather smoothly despite the fact that just mentioning the blonds name made him blush. Yuu heard Akita hum and saw him nod in his peripheral vision. The brunet didn't push the question further.

Yuu was nearing his house, and although he was looking forward to the emptiness he also didn't want the company of his friend to leave, especially since everything seemed alright between them, and due to the whole craziness going on with Mika (Yuu had decided to use the nickname the boy seemed to prefer) he was kind of craving some normalcy.

"Do you mind if I come in? I want to finish some homework early" Yuu watched Akita run a hand through his hair as he spoke, Yuu nodded in permission and held the door open. Gladness swelled slightly in his chest when he and Akita travelled up the stairs, giggling on their way.

The boys were perched on Yuu's carpet, procrastinating around their work by chatting about random topics, melodic laughs filled the room every now and then, permanent smiles resting on both of the male's faces, happy silence fell around them again as their discussion died down, Yuu stared at the ceiling, his smile slowly fading into a worried scowl, the anxious feeling from earlier on in the day trickling back to him, he needed to know.

"Akita" Yuu started, his friend's name feeling heavy on his tongue, he heard the owner hum and answer with a small 'yeah?'

"A-about yesterday... You don't feel a-awkward, do you?" the black-haired boy tripped on his words slightly, the question strangely worded due to his nerves. Yuu swallowed, not allowing himself to take his eyes off of the ceiling.

"Hm? No, why would I?" Akita casually replied, continuing to flip through another magazine. Yuu felt the angst disappear from his body, however confusion replaced it instead. Why was his friend so calm? Especially when he himself was a rollercoaster of emotions right now? Maybe he should be glad about this? Surely it means nothing has changed. However he couldn't get the feeling to go away, what if Akita wasn't okay, Yuu would never be able to tell since he's never known Akita to _not_ be okay, he had no idea how the brunet would react so he would never be able to tell. Yuu admitted defeat; he guessed he would have to take his friend's word on it.

Yuu pulled his head down to face his friend again, the boy was lying on his stomach with his knees bent upwards and his ankles crossed, he was leaning his head on his palm and his bangs fell into his eyes slightly, the strands catching on his long eyelashes. Yuu stared at his rather attractive friend for a bit longer until the brunet caught his gaze and gave him his signature smile, and Yuu couldn't help but smile back.

After finally managing to get his hyperactive friend to go home Yuu released a sigh that had held his daily blues and let comfort seep back into his bones, however Yuu knew he would only have this content for around three more hours, due to the fact his mother came home around that time. He would have to make sure he savoured every last bit of it.

After grabbing a drink he walked the stairs again and closed his bedroom door behind him, after changing out of his stuffy school uniform he inspected the bandages on his arm, he could see the faint mark of dried blood through the cotton. He then went to the bathroom to grab the medical kit, once he got the dirty bandage off he studied his wounds. The three lines where still extremely tender, the skin around them red and slightly swollen, he was hoping they weren't getting infected but since they weren't weeping he was convinced that they wouldn't. After re-dressing the wounds he travelled back into his room, proceeding to flop onto his bed and let the soft fabric caress his tired body.

Yuu's mind kept falling on _Mika_ , the nickname making the whole thing seem a lot more intimate for some reason. Yuu was still rather confused on what was happening at the moment. Before, the blond was Yuu's dream guy, well he still _is_ but then why does he feel so awkward about the whole thing? Thinking back on today at lunch Yuu wondered why he couldn't answer the blond's questions. Surely it would have started an actual conversation; something that a week ago Yuu would have never thought would ever happen. He should be happy Mika was trying to become his friend, but the whole thing felt too awkward, to be honest Yuu wished he could start over with him.

The slight buzzing coming from behind him startled Yuu out of his thoughts, he sat himself up and grabbed his phone from the bedside table, he lit up the screen and was confused at the message from an unknown number, and he cautiously opened it. His eyes widened slightly and a thick blush spread over his face, the message was from Mika, saying that he wanted to hang out over the weekend.

Yuu felt his heart pound as he replied, after agreeing to the plans he collapsed back onto the bed and cursed himself at how shoujo his life was turning out to be, he turned onto his stomach and was almost surprised at how his burning blush wasn't melting through his bed, he curled in on himself as a large grin started forming across his face, he wondered how it was possible that a small incident can turn your entire world upside down.

* * *

 **A/N: I know how many people hate OCs in fics (me included *cough*) but Akita is a guide in this story and since i have plans for all the other characters i needed to put him in, i'm trying to make his character have more depth so he isn't a John Doe but i really hope he doesn't put you off because he's starting to become a rather important character.**

 **I'm also going to start posting here more often since i've been getting some acc follows even though this acc wasn't meant to be serious but why not eh?**


	7. Seems Like a Date

**A/N:** **Writer's block hit me hard these past weeks, still not very happy with this chapter... (lots o' info in my ending notes, be prepared)**

 **Writing Mika is so hard because I'm basing him more on smol child Mika and not broody vampire Mika and it's more difficult than you think.**

 **Please, review if you have the time! The support really helps.**

* * *

Yuu's leg was in a constant jigging, his sight was glued to the clock, just a few more minutes and the day would finally be over, but the time dragged on as if it was doing it on purpose, torturing the poor short boy. Yuu just wanted his teacher to shut up so he could finally go, he tapped his fingers on the desk, his vision flitted between the clock and the teacher at the front of class, impatience filled every inch of his body, making him fidget.

Yuu had to control himself and make sure he didn't run as soon as he heard the chime of the dismissal bell, he forced himself to gather his things in a normal pace but his body was itching to move faster. He had got a text from Mika at lunch saying they would discuss plans after school, ever since then the black-haired boy had been watching the clock like a hawk, waiting for the minutes to tick by so he could _finally_ see the blond. Yuu has noticed his feelings for Mika had been fluctuating, one second he felt his heart almost explode at the smallest syllable of the boy's name then the next he was cringing at his feelings, the emotions forming a sickly concoction in his stomach, and then have the motions repeat, putting him in a deliciously confusing cycle of love and disgust.

Yuu's breathing was deep and fast when he stepped out into the main courtyard; he swung his head in every direction trying to spot his tall target between the seas of bodies. He jumped slightly once he spotted him, he was chatting to a couple of his friends, Yuu felt a smile grace his features before he halted his movements, his smile dropped fast and the colour from his face drained, he could feel his heart beat's happy rhythm start to wither and die. Yuu swallowed, the tangy taste of bile coated the back of his throat, he felt like he was going to vomit, his stomach twisting in a way that felt like it was threatening him that it was going to spill its contents right there. Yuu stared terrified at the way the blond chuckled beautifully with the people that had been pushing him in the halls and following him after school, the ones that had been hiding his books, and pulling his bag off of him before emptying its contents against his will, the people that had made sure his school life was hell. And Mika, the boy he had been dying to see smile because of him, dying to feel his arms holding him and hear his slightly deep but melodious voice whisper about his day in his ear, the boy he's been dying to even talk to was friends with those malicious people. Yuu clutched at his shirt, his heart hurt, that was expected, but why did it hurt so bad? Why did it feel like he just watched the one person he truly loves betray him? Yuu felt the last of his joy disintegrate as he realised he just may have.

Yuu stood and stared as he watched Mika say farewell to his now leaving group, he watched as the blond skimmed the diminishing crowd of students and watched as those crystal blue eyes landed on him, the blond waved towards him, beckoning him closer. Yuu took a breath, trying to mask his pained expression, just because he knew those people didn't mean he was like them, right? Yuu hoped so. He travelled on heavy legs, his mind didn't want him to go forwards but his body wasn't under his control at the moment, he forced a smile as he reached talking distance of Mika, the small expression was still laced with hurt.

Mika stared down at the fragile looking boy, he could see right through the shorter male's façade, but he ignored it, obviously the boy was trying to get over something, he didn't want to do anything to upset him further.

"Hey Yuichiro, since it's getting late shall we walk together again? We can talk on the way" Mika asked cheerily towards the black-haired boy, who's mask had been ripped from him and was now staring at the floor, still desperately trying to hide his uncomfortable expression. He watched the boy nod before turning and starting to lead them, they walked in silence for a few minutes; Mika didn't want to overwhelm the shorter boy.

"So Yuichiro, I was thinking you could maybe come 'round mine tomorrow instead of going out, it that okay with you?" Yuu finally looked up at the voice, small signs of a blush began to rise on his cheeks, Mika was inviting him to his house again, sure he was curious but for some reason it felt too fast. Yuu swallowed his nerves and forced some confidence into his step, he instead decided that this was the perfect opportunity.

"Sure that sounds great, oh by the way, y-you... _can_ call me Yuu" he rubbed at the back of his neck, looking towards the ground again, he could feel his cheeks burning, but he was using the blond's nickname so he might as well tell him his. That angelic melodious chuckle made him look up again, the sound filling his heart with warmth.

"Good, I'll text you my address later tonight _Yuu-chan_ " the added wink by the blond caused Yuu's face to overheat and he stared at his shoes wide-eyed, he couldn't get over the way his name sounded so good coming from him.

The two continued their journey in silence, Yuu was still sporting a very heavy blush and Mika was humming slightly, the taller boy enjoyed the slight breeze which chased away the growing heat at the perfect time, the air held a sickly sweet smell from the sakura flowers which had fallen and were starting to decay, the light buzzing of cicadas and various other insects set a very relaxing mood. Mika loved being outside, especially with the people-well person-he loved, but sadly due to his mother's strong allergies those times were rare, but when those moments did happen he savoured every second of them. Noticing the familiar surroundings, Mika realised their journey was coming to an end, stopping at the road junction he turned and faced the shorter boy who was looking back at him with those green eyes of his knowingly.

"Well, I guess we split off here... I'll see you tomorrow okay, Yuu-chan" Oh god, how those words hurt more than Yuu thought they would, he watched the blond give a short wave and smile before turning and walking the opposite path, why did seeing him go feel so wrong? Why did it leave an empty feeling in his heart? Yuu's senses were jolted back awake by some unknown force and he lurched forward slightly, the action sudden even for him.

"See you tomorrow Mika!" Yuu shouted out the good-bye louder than he hoped, but it successfully made the taller boy stop and turn, giving Yuu an inquisitive look before sending the black-haired boy a genuine smile and another wave, before he turned and walked with a slightly more visible spring in his step. Yuu walked home with a rather uncharacteristic grin after that, his world was actually looking rather colourful today, he hoped it would last.

Light vibrations against his thigh brought him out of his giddy atmosphere, stopping in his tracks and reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone to see a new message from Akita. Yuu opened the message casually, but guilt slowly seeped its way into his bones at the text:

 _Wanna do something tomorrow?  
Parents leaving all day and busy Sunday._

Yuu bit his lip; he didn't want to turn his friend down but... He really need this time with Mika. Akita would understand that he was busy, Yuu reassured himself, besides Mika asked him first anyway. He quickly typed out a reply explaining his already-made-plans and attached an apology, before slipping his phone back into his pocket and continuing his walk, he and Akita could hang out during the week anyway.

The clean white wood stared at him mockingly; threatening him as if when his knuckles made contact, it would send a few hundred volts through his muscle and bone. Yuu tried to swallow his nausea, shouting at himself in his head to just _knock on the goddamn door_. He took a deep and shaky breath, and raised an enclosed fist to the creamy coloured wood, trembling slightly he persuaded his body to move and finally managed to force himself to tap the door, the contact with his knuckles causing a blunt knock successfully.

Even though it was only a few seconds, the time taken for Mika to open that white and intimidating door seemed like ages to the small boy. But the time was well rewarded because Yuu felt his pulse increase rapidly when the owner of the house pulled back the wooden barricade and he was given an eye full of the blond and, _shit_ did he look _beautiful_ , the taller male was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of knee-length light beige shorts, most likely due to the heat, because of the newly exposed skin from the lighter clothing Yuu could see how pale the boy actually was, however the colour of his skin seemed graceful in some way.

"Please, come in" Mika's words shocked Yuu back into reality and a light blush sprung on his face, he stepped forward into the home muttering a small 'thank you' on the way in and was immediately greeted with comforting quiet and a warm, homely feeling. After taking off his shoes respectfully, Yuu looked around the living room that he found himself in; it was furnished rather basically, with the everyday necessities like a sofa and TV and other small random furniture, but had an extremely comfortable atmosphere. The sound of the door clicking and light padding signalled Yuu that Mika had come to find him, he turned around to face the blond who was smiling softly at him; he rubbed at his sleeve-covered arm, suddenly feeling strangely insecure.

Mika then lead the two of them upstairs, the obvious destination was the boy's bedroom, Yuu felt his heart-beat quicken in anticipation, a bedroom could tell you a lot about a person, and Yuu wasn't sure how much he wanted to know yet. When he first entered the relatively small room he realised how different it was compared to what he thought, instead of looking like your everyday teenage boy's room (or what he had gathered from Akita's) he noticed it was as little furnished as downstairs, the room only containing the everyday needs of a bedroom, like a bed, desk and nightstand. The walls were a creamy colour and were very empty, unlike his; even so it held the same homely feeling as the rest of the house. Yuu shuffled rather awkwardly as he watched Mika clear his bed of school stuff and some random books, making space for the two of them. And he was very slow to move when said blond seated himself and then gestured for Yuu to sit with him, patting the sky blue sheets lightly.

The black-haired boy sat and played with his hands, he could feel Mika looking at him every now and then, Yuu felt panic begin to peel away at his skin, why did the blond keep looking at him? Was he doing something wrong!? Yuu curled in on himself slightly, a very obvious uncomfortable expression painting his face.

"You seem like someone my mother would like" The sound of Mika's voice chipped the cold glass of Yuu's panic lightly in surprise, the statement was... strange. Mika must have noticed the confused crease of his brow because he spluttered slightly on his next sentence.

"Uh-I mean-God I'm sorry! That was an awkward thing to say" at the clearly flustered tone of voice Yuu finally turned to face the blond again, who was now rubbing at the back of his neck with a bashful blush, Yuu felt the bubbly feeling of joy in his chest, which then lead to a small fit of cheery giggles, he brought his hand up to cover his mouth, trying to stifle the wave of euphoria, small tears formed in his eyes from the joyful onslaught. Mika watched the boy in silent awe, the way he sat almost doubled over in laughter and how his face showed the sign of complete bliss was cute in a strange way. Mika felt himself smile, this boy was certainly interesting.

After Yuu's cheery event, he had relaxed a lot more around the blond, whom he happily chatted away with, one thing Yuu noticed however, was the way his heart thrummed strong in his chest, he noticed how much more alive and confident he felt around Mika, and his heart showed this with its happy thumping. The two walked into the kitchen, giggling away at some random story Mika was telling, the laughs turned airy and light before they stopped as the story reached its end, they were finally able to take in the oxygen they felt like they were missing. Something caught the black-haired boy's attention, the array of prints and photos stuck to the grey surface of the fridge. Walking over to inspect them he noticed an obvious pattern in each one: they only contained two people, one was quite clearly Mika and the other was a mature looking woman with brown hair, Yuu studied each photograph, they all held that feeling of warmth the blond seemed to just emit, a gentle smile graced his face again at the consistent smiles the boy and woman held in each. However Yuu started to wonder why it was only the same two people, he skimmed every picture again to clarify this, there were no sign of siblings or fatherly figure in any of them.

"It's just mother and me now" Yuu jumped slightly, he hadn't noticed Mika presence until he spoke; the blond's soft voice held a small hint of sadness, the tone was bittersweet to Yuu's ears. He turned his head to face the tall boy behind him, looking up he noticed the gentle loving look the boy's blue eyes held as he focused on the woman in the pictures. Yuu felt a small hint of jealousy twang at his heart, trying to lure out the happiness that had nestled there.

"But I thinks that's a tale for another time" Mika took a breath which cleared the small trails of gloom in his system, he smiled down at the green-eyed boy staring at him, reassuring that he was fine. His gaze next went to the clock: 5pm. Mika clicked his tongue, seems like their get together was at its end, he had enjoyed Yuu's company a lot more than he hoped, he was actually sad about him leaving.

Yuu hopped out of the once-intimidating door, he spun on his heels, once-again facing the attractive blond who was leaning against the door's creamy frame. Yuu smiled genuinely at him again, he seemed to have done that a lot today, before bowing slightly and thanking him again.

"No problem, I'll see you Monday okay?" the casual but friendly look Mika gave him along with his words caused that overwhelming joy to bubble in Yuu again, the black-haired boy grinned helplessly then started to turn with a wave.

"See ya' Mika!" he spoke delightfully as he turned fully and started to head down the front garden. He felt his heart throb with the obvious feeling called love with the blond's next words, before he heard the faint click of the door being shut.

The sun was still up, but struggling to do so, it's warm orange haze painting the sky, mixing with the pink-tinged clouds, Yuu smiled as he walked, Mika's last words repeating in his head, making his body strangely sing with affection, _'Bye-bye Yuu-chan!'._

Watching a few lonesome birds streak against the bright sky, he stared in wonder at how the colours reflected his mood: Happy and relaxed, _finally_.

* * *

 **A/N:** **Next chap will be focusing more on Akita, I just wanted to give you some Mikayuu fanservice before the angsty shit starts up (oh yes lots of angst) Also frequent readers of my works, i have made a list on my profile desc of my planned/upcoming fics, so if you're interested about what i'm writing and what to expect then head on over  
**

 **One more thing, requests! Yes i'm starting up requests, for a brief run down requests can be in any rating, anime only, one-shots only (this includes no sequels/prequels) will do kinks if you want smut (unless they make me uncomfortable) will do any ship (hetero, homo etc.) but if i don't know/like the anime/ship i am less likely to do it, would be best to provide ao3 name so I can gift them (if this makes you uncomfortable it's fine, you don't have to) also best/easiest way to send them is via tumblr, my tumblr is in my profile desc, but if you're lazy it's pinkhairedroyalty. YEAH YEAH REQUESTS GET HYPE**

* * *

 **Review replies:**

 **Avian royalty:** Wearing glasses yourself really helps write the struggles of them xD and being a person who also gets fatigued quickly helps me write Yuu a lot (especially when a lot of him is based around me ***cough*** ) I do wish to make Yuu more happy but sadly things have to get worse before the get better... And YES the librarian is Shinya! My friend forced me to cameo him, so he's the sexy librarian! ;D


	8. Suffering in His Own Way

**A/N: WARNINGS: 'SEXY' DREAMS ;), IMPLICATIONS OF MASTURBATION AND A LOT OF BOY HORMONES.**

 **Felt the need to bump up the age rating, since I'm probably going to add more light 'sexual acts' in the future and I want to be safe**

 **This chapter is ALL in Akita's POV, so I hope you enjoy my sexually frustrated cinnamon roll.**

 **Please review and such! The support really helps ;)**

* * *

Sweat was the first thing he noticed, and not the cold, clammy sweat that drenches you completely after you awake from being tormented by the unholy nightmares of your mind, but the type of sweat you get just after running a marathon, a _really_ long marathon that pushed your body to the edge of collapsing and dying half-way, when your body flushes hot and it feels like your insides are boiling in their own juices, and everything starts to burn incredibly so, that you feel like you're being purged for your sins in that very moment. But sadly, this overwhelming, thick, hot stickiness wasn't caused by self-inflicting bodily exertion; no, it was caused by an even worse, far too lewd dream.

Akita was your average 15-year-old boy, he played sports, got fairly good grades and enjoyed the lusciously curvy sight of women's bodies. Or he hoped so, something had been bothering him for a few days now, every time he slept he was soon awoken with the same viscous heated flush and an even hotter feeling between his thighs. Normally this wouldn't bother him, due to his fresh hormones he was used to getting the occasional provocative dream, but not like this, never like this, these dreams caused the slightly sickly feeling of disgust to pool in his chest no matter how turned on they made him feel, he was starting to dream of a guy, and no he wasn't feeling disgust because they are the same gender as him (he's not about that) but because of _who_ they are, every night he's plagued with thoughts of a person he's known very well for years panting, writhing and trembling beneath him. He was dreaming of _Yuu_.

The brunet was staring at his ceiling, the obvious blush of arousal adorned his heated face, and his body was half covered by his bed sheets, his legs tangled tightly in the cotton, trying to calm the burning between them. He was panting slightly; the heat that flowed through his veins was becoming unbearable. He tried to stare at the non-existent pattern of his white ceiling, hoping the concentration on nothing would pull him from this pit of arousal, but his mind kept switching to the sight that had plagued his unconscious mind just a few moments ago, another wave of overwhelming euphoria washed through his body, making the flush that most likely coated his entire being deepen to scorching depth. The dreams were getting more explicit, the person of his subconscious desire had gained a voice, a voice that dripped with the pure essence of sex, a voice that, when in the most intense parts of the dreams, cried out in such a pleasured and broken way it made the knot of crude lust tighten in his stomach, 'til it felt like it was going to snap and rip him to shreds from the inside-out.

He had managed to stay strong thus far, washing away his libido with the icy spray of a cold shower, but this time was different, his body felt desperate, like it was screaming at him just to let it finally release all its built up frustration from the past days. Fidgeting his legs, he knew the fire coating his inner thighs and groin couldn't be extinguished with a pathetic attempt of a cold shower. He sighed; he couldn't believe he was actually going to do this, especially to the thought of his _best friend_. He gulped down his nerves and slammed the door to his pride, as he slowly but surely brought his hand to trail down his clothed stomach and to his waist band, he felt the undeniable cloud of self-disgust fog his already-tight-feeling chest again; he flung an arm over his eyes, trying to hide the act from himself, he couldn't watch, it was already too much. With a silent apology to whatever unlucky deity supervised him he allowed his mind's sick images of Yuu looking flushed and needy flood his vision, before finally giving in.

* * *

He couldn't help the guilt that sat in his stomach, but actually being next to the person of his twisted fantasies made Akita feel terrible. He knew Yuu couldn't tell that he had basically been using him as sex material, but whenever he looked at the innocent face of the slightly-less-developed black-haired boy, he couldn't help but re-imagine the obscene images of his friend lidded-eyed, open-mouthed and flushed as he screamed in pure ecstasy under his fingers, the same scenes he was forced to see every night. Akita swallowed thickly as the small twang of arousal re-appeared inside of him again. He was lucky it was cold today.

As they walked to school Yuu was telling him about what he and 'Mika' got up to on the weekend, he wasn't really listening, didn't want to. But he couldn't help but find the way Yuu's face lit up and a light blush spread on his cheeks strangely cute, it was the fact that it was due to him talking about that blond which made that small hint of annoyance appear. He wasn't jealous, not at all.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Yuu asked with a small grin, stopping their travels and snapping Akita out of his daze, he only just noticed he was staring at his friend with an affectionate smile, brought on by the small boy's adorableness; the brunet turned his head with a small blush adorning his face. He stared at the ground, shuffling on his feet; as he sunk down into his coat collar a bit more, he whispered a barely noticeable 'It's nothing'.

"You're an idiot" he heard Yuu's flat tone, before stumbling slightly, realising the small boy had bumped him with his shoulder. He looked down to see Yuu's dead-faced expression, but the small glint of mischief in his bright, pretty green irises told the real story. Akita side-stepped lightly and re-bumped the black-haired boy, who then returned the light hit. They continued like that for a while, both stumbling down the road with joyful smiles and the pleasant sound of laughter following them. The nudges got a bit more playful and rougher as they were passed and re-passed to one another, that is until Akita grinned slyly and turned fully, quickly grabbing the small boy's sides and digging his fingers in, the black-haired boy letting how a small howl of surprise. The attractive brunet was slightly disappointed that he couldn't get an idea of how Yuu's body really looked through touch, but even through the thick material of the coat, the recipient of the attack reacted strongly to the sudden tickling, laughing powerfully as his body malfunctioned and lost its control, tears peaking in his eyes from the intense laughing fit. Akita giggled along, secretly enjoying the feeling of the small body squirming and twitching under his fingers.

"A-Akita, stop... p-please!" Yuu managed to force out through his loud but slightly panicked laughter, the tall boy stopped as soon as the words were spoken, he wrapped his arms around Yuu's waist as the boy almost collapsed, supporting the now out-of-breath boy who was still fighting off airy giggles. Akita chuckled into the fluffy hair of his friend, not realising he had turned the catch into some-sort of hug; he had enjoyed the light, bouncy feeling which had replaced the dangerous sea of lust in his chest too much that he had yet to notice the rather awkward situation he had now placed himself into.

"Y-you can let go now" The quiet and slightly timid voice said, a small nervous cough following it. Akita felt shock hit him like a bus at full speed and he leapt off of Yuu wide-eyed, he continued walking backwards to put space between the two equally flustered males.

"I'm sorry!" Akita yelped out, voice high and panicked, the complete opposite of his usual deep and sultry voice. The brunet stood straight and rigid, hands balled into fists so tightly his nails hurt his palms. He watched as Yuu patted down his extremely soft hair, the dusty pink covering his cheeks, nose and ears was making him even more adorable, the sight just made him want to eat the slim boy up there and then. Akita mentally threw himself off a bridge, now was definitely _not_ the time.

"I-it's fine, w-we better hurry or we'll be late" Yuu replied, straightening himself and beginning to walk again. Akita followed suit, although he stayed healthy foot behind the boy, he could tell Yuu was still embarrassed and uncomfortable due to his slightly hunched and stiff posture, Akita felt that same guilt run through him again.

* * *

The tall brunet sighed deeply as he stepped into the school courtyard, he revelled in the relief that washed through him, he was so happy the day was finally over. After that little incident this morning he and Yuu had been rather quiet around each other, Akita sighed as he looked at the sky, watching the clouds float along the crisp blue. He hoped things would be better tomorrow, not being able to talk confidently to his short friend set a hard, twisted feeling in his stomach, it didn't feel right at all.

Akita felt sick as he walked home; it wasn't the 'throw up' type of sick, but the dreading, 'holy shit I don't want to do this' type of sick. He was so tired, both physically and mentally, this whole... personal issue he had going on was dragging him down, even to the point of making him scared to sleep. Once or twice he managed to pull an all-nighter, giving him the sweet release from any erotic images, but that resulted in him falling asleep in class, which then caused him to make a laughing stock of himself when his teacher made a note of waking him up in front of everyone. However actually sleeping also caused restless nights: waking up at 2am with an inescapable heat on your body and a very uncomfortable situation in your underwear didn't equal to a satisfying sleep.

He noticed he was taking a very long time to walk home today; perhaps it was because he was in deep wonder about what he did to deserve this punishment, wasn't the universe, or whatever great being that decided to fuck up his life, satisfied yet? He was already torn to shreds, all the questions with no answers had eaten his flesh down to the bone, and he was suffering, he was suffering so much, all he wanted was a break, just one measly break from this torment, _please_.

The buzzing in his pocket pulled him from his self-mourning; stopping his movement he dug his hand into the uniform pocket which carried his phone, fingers grasped the vibrating device. Reading the caller ID, he felt his heart skip a beat, from affection or anxiousness he didn't know. He gulped before pressing the green 'accept' button, hoping for a comfortable atmosphere to greet him, putting on his past-self's cheery demeanour he spoke into the phone.

"Yo, Yuu, what's up?" Akita cringed at how chirpy his voice sounded; did he really always speak like that?

" _Ah! Akita, th-this is going to sound weird but... could I borrow one of your shirts?"_ The brunet smiled at the voice that spoke into his ear; even through the phone it was so familiar and homely, nothing like it was earlier today, and the way the slightly rushed and excited voice went close to a whisper near the end was just oh so cute.

"Hm, what for? Sounds kinda pervy Yuu" he replied, making sure to put a sly, playful tone to his voice, he's got to keep up his façade after all.

" _Sh-shut up, idiot... it's just that... I-I think I've grown that's all... I just want to compare..."_ the small sincere whisper made Akita's thoughts stop for a second, after jump-starting himself back up again the only thing that made itself clear was ' _so cute_ '. The tall boy chuckled wholeheartedly to no one in particular.

"Yeah, sure Yuu, I'll drop one over later okay? Let's hope your growth theory is true" the brunet felt genuine happiness seep into his voice, and for a second everything felt at peace again, as if he was finally getting that break he needed so desperately, that is until a small gasp was shot directly into his brain and to his groin.

" _Ah!"_ Yuu's gasp was breathy, slightly pained and somehow everything he'd been imagining. It was loud and clear in Akita's ear, filling his mind with the sound and some ungodly images. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, feeling his face heat up along with his body.

"A-are you okay?" He croaked out, his voice was strained and didn't sound like he was concerned at all.

" _Yeah, thanks for asking, I just slipped down the last step of the stairs"_ The reason was so innocent, and Yuu sounded slightly annoyed by his home's threat to injure him, but Akita only heard the airy and somehow-erotic noise his short friend made during the slight tumble. His lust-driven state of mind repeated the gasp over and over, each time it got more and more lewd, he needed to hang up, or otherwise he would never forgive himself for the sick things his imagination would conjure up during the late hours of the night.

"Sorry Yuu I really have to go, I'll see you later" He rambled his words, trying to speak them as quickly as possible, after making sure he heard Yuu's slightly confused and unsure 'bye' he disconnected the call almost immediately. _Shit!_ Remembering his promise to bring his black-haired friend one of his t-shirts, he quickly brought up his phone's contacts and sent Yuu a very shallow text saying something had come up, before shoving the device back into his pocket and rushing the rest of the way home, libido overworking itself. _He felt sick, so very sick._

* * *

 **A/N:** **Oh Akita, I love you so much even though I don't really know what you look like because I'm too lazy to design you properly.**

 **ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST, SOOOOOON**

 ***i'm starting up requests, for a brief run down requests can be in any rating, anime only, one-shots only (this includes no sequels/prequels) will do kinks if you want smut (unless they make me uncomfortable) will do any ship (hetero, homo etc.) but if i don't know/like the anime/ship i am less likely to do it, would be best to provide ao3 name so I can gift them (if this makes you uncomfortable it's fine, you don't have to) also best/easiest way to send them is via tumblr, my tumblr is in my profile desc, but if you're lazy it's pinkhairedroyalty. YEAH YEAH REQUESTS GET HYPE**


	9. New Boys and Mistakes

**A/N: PLEASE FORGIVE MEEEEEE, i'm soooo sorry for the long af hiatus, my life has been pretty darn shitty the last few months and i got writer's block and just haven't had any motivation at all and i hate myself for how long this took please don't hurt me! Sorry this is short, and if its a bit dry, i haven't written in so long fu q**

* * *

"Sooo... How's Princey?" That was an interesting conversation starter on the way to school.

"Princey?" Yuu repeated, sending a confused stare towards Akita, the nickname was an odd one at that, Yuu flicked through his (very small) mental filing cabinet of people he knew, who held prince-like attributes? His brunet friend huffed down to him, and waved his hands in an over-the-top manner as he began to pass on a hint.

"Oh, you know, Mr. I'm so pretty with my manners and half-Russian genes" Akita flicked faux long hair over his shoulder to emphasise his statement, the harsh act making his footing stutter slightly. Yuu snorted slightly, finally understanding who he meant. For some reason Akita used the fact Mika was half-Russian to try and spite him, it was a pretty poor job on his part, he could definitely do better, not that he would encourage it.

"Jealous are we, Aki-kun?" Yuu smirked back, the nickname was an old one, dating back to when they first became friends, they would joke about it from time-to-time, but actually tasting the words always made him cringe slightly.

"Oh please no..." the taller boy over-exaggerated a disgust layered shiver, scowling at the distasteful name. They hated it as much as each other, but it at least make Akita shut up, the smaller boy added another mark to his egotistic score board.

Green eyes flicked to the side, watching the boy next to him look ahead as they walked, an almost terrifying sly smile gracing his usual natural features.

"Mika's fine by the way" even though his smirk was visible through the words, the fact he knew that rubbed salt in the wound made it all worthwhile.

* * *

Strange, normally people wouldn't transfer schools half-way through a term, the change would surely knock them off track of studies and lessons. However, two new boys had joined today, one Yuu clearly knew since he had joined their homeroom. He was short, like Yuu, which made him strangely giddy, and the best way to describe his full appearance as he stood, obviously nervous, in front of the class would be: 'helpless puppy'.

The boys name was Yoichi Saotome, since he just shakily whispered his introduction, the black-haired boy felt bad for him, he knew what it was like to be the smallest of the class (especially when everyone else towered above you) and he couldn't help the urgent feeling of running over and shielding him like some-sort of mother would her cubs. Yuu's sight followed the boy as he jittered towards his newly-assigned seat at the back of the room, he understood his nerves all too well, people were whispering.

* * *

"Hey, Yuu-chan" there was that silky voice again, Yuu was so glad he was familiar with the owner now, he falls deeper into the abyss each day. Yuu waved a reply, face stuffed with rice from his bento, why did he skip breakfast again?

Black hair cocked slightly, trailing behind God's gift himself was helpless puppy boy, and Yuu crossed his brows in a silent query. Mika seated himself next to the small boy currently inhaling his lunch, and gestured an invitation to Yoichi to take the seat to his right.

"Your class Rep didn't want to escort him, so I volunteered instead" the blond boy answered Yuu's silent question, flashing him a slightly sheepish but dazzling smile. Fuck, Yuu almost choked. Managing to swallow the lump threatening to kill him, he finally spoke up.

"Awh, aren't you sweet" he voiced smugly, a true fondness fogging over, as he packed away his now-empty bento box. Mika giggled in that addictive and simply adorable tone, chopsticks resting against his lips which curled into a coy smile. Yuu forced himself to tear his vision from that sight, figuring he'd been staring too long already, and instead paid attention to the slightly fidgety puppy-boy.

"Hey, I'm Yuu by the way" he outstretched a hand around Mika's back, not wanting to be too rude, and waited until the chest-nut coloured haired boy suddenly piped up and took his hand more confidently.

"Yeah, I noticed you in homeroom, I'm Yoichi as you probably know" his voice was gentle, and he scratched his cheek slightly as he spoke, probably a nervous thing, Yuu thought. He released the warm hand and nodded respectfully, he felt like they could get along.

The three of them continued lunch peacefully for a few minutes, chatting about random encounters and sharing lesson information, the conversation turning to upcoming exams before swinging back round to weird food habits, a new voice soon joining their noise concoction.

"Yo Yuu, Princey" the bittersweet nickname was the best give-away they could have had, three sets of eyes turned behind them to face the one and only, Akita. Yuu waved at his childhood friend, as much as he sometimes got on his nerves, he could never push him away for no reason.

"Ah, Akita how nice to see you here" Yuu almost burst out laughing at how un-discrete the sarcasm in Mika's voice was, although the slight toxicity mixed well with his usual angelic voice. The pair shared a slightly competitive stare-down as the tall brunet grabbed a chair at their table, Yuu was always amused at the slight despise that grew between them throughout the time he started knowing Mika. But, even through their façade of healthy rivalry, Yuu knew they loved each other really.

"Sorry, I don't know you, I'm Akita" the handsome boy pointed his attention to the other brunet at the table, who nodded slightly and introduced himself for the umpteenth time that day.

"You wouldn't happen to know the other new kid? He pisses me off already" Akita's expression contorted into an annoyed grimace, Yoichi shaking his head in reply, satisfying the slightly intimidating taller boy enough to direct his attention back on the other two.

"What's so bad about him?" Yuu's words were stolen, and he stared slightly guffawed as the electric energy between the tall boys simply vanished, as if it was never actually there.

"He's just a telephone pole who thinks he's better than everyone else, annoying as hell" Akita exasperated, leaning back in his chair with a deep whine, Yuu leaned of his palm, making eye contact with puppy-boy to comfort him slightly, since he had shrunk back again.

"Sounds like you" the blond replied, the effortless words shocked Yuu and caused him to hastily cover his mouth as snorts and chuckled spilled from his lips. Mika was smiling coyly again, and Akita shot forward as soon as the comment processed.

"Shut up! Oi, Yuu don't laugh!" he exclaimed, voice coated in an embarrassed howl, soon his sulking expression cracked and began to laugh along with the now-crying Yuu, joyful soaked tears running down his aching cheeks, the mixing cackles soon resulting the whole table to erupt in gut-wrenching laughter.

* * *

Yuu immensely enjoyed the feeling of those arms wrapped around his waist, the hold was warm and comforting, and had the same safe feeling and effect as his bed did, as if they could protect him from anything, the pair were practically spooning, resting on their sides on the clean sheets of Akita's bed. The brunet got clingy when he was tired, not that Yuu minded, it meant he could soak in the heavenly safe feeling whenever he felt his friend's forehead rest on his shoulder, and the familiar pull of the brunet settling the smaller boy into his chest.

The act was platonic, to Yuu almost brotherly; the first time they curled into each other was when Akita first caught Yuu harming himself. He will never forget how his dearest friend dressed his wounds, dried his tears and promised to not tell anyone (by Yuu's request) before pulling him into his own body, and then Yuu experienced the feeling of complete comfort and light for the very first time.

Yuu felt a shift on his back, and welcomed Akita to prop his head gently on top of his, as his large hands delicately pulled Yuu's sleeves down to release his array of scars. His thumb traced the small lines, massaging away any left-over pain, both mentally and physically, Yuu felt like purring at the air-light action.

"Hey... You know I love you right?" Akita's voice was gentle, no higher than a whisper, the usual deepness being sweetened and turning into a stream of sugary coffee. Yuu nodded, closing his eyes as the bliss of being safe, protected and not alone washed over him, coating him in a euphoric happiness. He needn't say anything; he knew Akita knew he loved him too.

He was so lucky to know him.

* * *

Mika's texts seemed able to make Yuu's day the best in his life, from a simple 'how are you?' to a random update from his life, Yuu welcomed every single text, and felt his heart race and involuntarily smile at each one. He loved Mika, he could finally tell, he was so in love with him it almost hurt. Sometimes, Yuu felt lost, as if his feelings were a maze with no entrance of exit, and he was going round and round in an endless cycle. The fact they were now friends made it worse, one wrong move and he could end the relationship they have now forever.

Due to this, he stupidly accepted when Mika asked if they could go round his house tomorrow, his love-blind mind not remembering the fact his room was painted with anime posters and otaku knick-knacks, Yuu stared in stupid horror at his reply, Mika was going to think he was such a shut-in, the boy he loved was going to know he was an anti-social, awkward nerd.

Oh fuck.

* * *

 **A/N: WE NEED MORE BOYS SAYING PLATONIC 'I LOVE YOU'S LIKE JFC. (also i wanted some fluff) the timeskips are all over the place in this fic tbh i'm just making this shit up as i go along slay m e**

 **this fic is such a slow build, i'm so rr y**


	10. Expected Visitor

**A/N: sorry**

* * *

First thing first: clear the filth. Yuu scanned his room, hands on his hips, marking the best starting point for is temporary clean-out, he figured the posters pasting the walls were the most efficient way to start. Yuu carefully removed each poster from his walls carefully, making sure not to rip or crease them, before rolling them loosely and placing them in his wardrobe, away from visitors' eyes.

As Yuu continued to pack his merchandise in temporary storage, he felt somewhat sad to watch his room slowly get emptier and emptier, his presence disappearing with every figurine, plushy and manga volume placed gently into the cardboard box. After he was finished, he stood and looked around his room again, it felt somewhat cold. There was no essence of him anywhere, just a plain boring room, it wasn't _his_ room anymore. He huffed, trying to keep his emotions minimum, knowing this was only for a short while. He couldn't help a small smile when he realised how proud his mother would be if she saw this, thinking he had moved on from his old ways. How wrong she would have been.

He spent the next hour sitting awkwardly on his bed, not wanting to rumple the sheets too much, fearing it would tarnish first impressions. And when he heard the ring of the doorbell his heart leapt, signalling his guest's arrival, breathing in he stood and brushed off imaginary dust as he straightened his posture, before making his way to answer the door.

The first thing that greeted him was Mika's radiant smile, warming his cockles from the chilly nerves, a smile which had seemed to influence Yuu into returning it, the two boys laughing lightly as the joy of each other's presence caught up to them. Yuu guided Mika through his home, watching his reactions in the corner of his eye; the blond seemed fairly relaxed, keeping the house in a comfortable homeliness, Yuu envied his confidence.

"There's not really any point in showing you the kitchen, my mother's not home anyway." Yuu said, skipping past the door to the kitchenette, Mika still trailing behind him. Yuu suddenly remembered he was supposed to be playing host, and not wanting to be rude he spoke up again, guilt making his voice quieter. "U-unless you want anything, of course."

"No thanks, I'm okay. I ate before I came." Mika replied, waving him off with a smile, if he had noticed any change in Yuu's demeanour he didn't show it. Yuu nodded, twiddling his sleeve, turning back around to lead Mika to the stairs.

Majority of the steps creaked under their weight, the harsh sound continuously breaking the silence, until they both reached the top. Yuu gestured forwards slightly, before starting to move again, he stepped into his bedroom, the cold emptiness was still there. Yuu shivered slightly, fidgeting in the corner as he watched Mika look around, an unreadable expression on his face. Mika glanced at the bed and then at Yuu, asking for permission, Yuu startled visibly before walking over and taking a seat first, silently inviting Mika to join him. The taller boy sat heavily, making the mattress bounce, Yuu discreetly stabled himself, not wanting to be thrown off. They sat quietly for a few moments, Yuu opening his mouth before closing it a couple of times, unsure of which to talk about. He pushed his glasses up, his stomach twirling at their proximity, the blond boy close enough for Yuu to feel what he guessed was his body heat.

"If I had to be completely honest, it's not what I expected." Mika grinned sheepishly, subconsciously scrunching the duvet cover under his fingers, scanning his eyes around the room again. He looked down to the boy next to him, watched how he played with his hands folded in his lap, showing obvious signs of agitation. Mika kept his cool front, not wanting to pester Yuu, but couldn't hide the slight worried crease of brow. "I was expecting something a lot more... cluttered. Not to be rude or anything, you just don't seem to be the plain, boring type."

Yuu perked at that, the adjective was snide but that didn't matter, usually he was the person who was forgotten for not standing out, for being uninteresting and keeping to himself, he was the perfect dreary gray.

"No, you're a lot more colourful than that."

He tightened his fist into his sleeve, the statement wasn't grand or complex, yet it affected him deeply. This person, a person who he called his first love saw him as something else, saw him as something more. Yuu just barely managed to hold back the waves of emotion, opting for a subtle smile instead, he glanced back at Mika, only to catch the split-second gaze the blond had on him, before he flitted it back and changed the subject.

"So. Shall we get studying then? End of term exams aren't all that long away." Mika sang, and as he unzipped the bag he brought with him he chanced another look at Yuu, seeing the boy dragging a small table out he noticed the faintest of smiles on his child-like features, how endearing, he thought. Settling on of the pillows Yuu had laid down, Mika placed his school supplies on the small table, spreading them tidily.

"Do you want to do Maths or English first?" Mika flicked his vision to where Yuu was rummaging through his own book bag, glad to hear his voice again. Mika hummed, smiling rather slyly as he tossed the choice around his head a few times, he didn't really struggle with any of them.

Yet.

"Which do suck most at?"

Yuu deadpanned at that, glaring at Mika who was now chuckling proudly to himself, cockily leaning against his hand as he accepted Yuu's stare down. Yuu huffed, mumbling to himself as he decided which he truly did suffer the most with, considering he was pretty bad at both.

"Shut up" he grumbled weakly.

* * *

Loud barks of laughter accompanied thumping as the pair travelled back down the stairs, still raving over some shared stories. As they calmed down and continued their rushed chatter, their mood was interrupted by the sound of a door clicking open.

"I'm home Yuu"

Yuu turned down the hall to greet his mother at the entryway, Mika towering above him from behind. Yuu's mother was a fairly young and pretty woman, sharing Yuu's colour scheme of black hair and green eyes, she wore a smart blouse and pencil skirt, suit blazer tucked under her arm.

"Welcome home, mother" Yuu stopped just ahead of her, taking her blazer as she removed her heels and slipped into comfier house slippers. As she turned to reply to her son her eye caught Mika, who was pretending to occupy himself by double checking his back packs contents. She ran a hand though her hair, smoothing some tangles as she put on a pretty smile at the sight of the handsome visitor.

"Ah, Yuu, is this a friend of yours?" Yuu nodded, turning around to face Mika as well, who was now giving his full attention to Yuu's mother, bowing slightly at the older woman.

"I'm Shindo Mikaela, it's lovely to meet you Amane-san" The woman smiled wider at that, Yuu could tell she was impressed with Mika's manners, considering the only other friend he's had over was Akita, who frankly wasn't the politest person.

"It's lovely to meet you too, Mikaela-kun" she returned the bow, before excusing herself and heading towards the kitchen, most likely to boil some hot water for some sort of caffeinated beverage.

Yuu continued to keep his gaze on his mothers exit, noticing that Mika had moved to slip back into his shoes. Yuu stood waiting for the blond to tighten his laces before standing and adjusting his bag on his shoulder.

"Your mother seems nice, you resemble her too" Yuu heard Mika speak behind him as he opened the door for his friend, he had heard he looked like his mother countless of times, never once did he feel it as a compliment.

"Thanks. Well, I guess I'll see you Monday?" he spoke as Mika hopped out the door into the night, the blond turned his head as he started walking, signature smile eminent on his features once-again.

"Yeah! See you Monday Yuu-chan!" He waved behind him; fairing Yuu a good bye, and as he turned out of the front garden Yuu closed the door again. Sighing as the weight of another day was added onto his straining shoulders.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm gonna be completely honest here, i actually pretty much hate this fic and completely forgot about it. yet, i am determined to finish it since it is my baby and i want to watch it grow, even if it is shitty now**


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